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 Barcoleta (vica)

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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:29 am

1. Pse bjondina nuk i ben detyrat e shte***
Sepse jeton ne Banes...

2. Pse bjondina me te dashurin e vet han qebapa me doren e majt???
Se te djadhten e ka te nxone me suxhuk...

3. Pse bjondina i mban syzat ne bark???
Sepse i ka then mjeku e ki zoren qore...

4. Pse Japonezet jan populli me te menqem ne bot???
Sepse ne japoni nuk ka bjondina...

5. Qfar kerkon bjondina ne fund te detit???
Leonardo Di Kaprion...

6. Qysh mundohet bjondina me mbyt peshkun???
Duke ja shytur kryt ne uje...

7.Qka osht bjondina pa mobil???
Femen palidhje...

8. Pse bjondina kur zgjohet ne mengjes nuk e gjen deren e sh***
Sepse nuk flen kur te shpija...

9. Nese nje zeshkane dhe nje bjondin kcejn prej ajroplanit me parashut cila bjen ma perpara ne toke???
Zeshkanja sepse bjondina e hup rugen...

10. Pse bjondina kur hyne ne barnatore ec ne maje te gishtave???
Per mos me i zgju hapat e gjumit prej gjumit...

11. Pse bjondina e mban ni gote uj te zbrazet te frigorifer???
sepse kur te vjen ndonje musafir e qe nuk don me pi kurgjo ajo ja jep at goten e zbrazt
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:30 am

Vaznja

Mam, a pet kujtohet ajo vaznja qe bajshe dert mes pe thehet?
Po, pi di.
Pi tashit s’ki nevoj’ me bajt mo dert..
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:30 am

Sevdija me djalin

Ni djal i vogel pe ngan nėpėr shpi t’mallnnave edhe pi sheh nonen e vet, edhe pi thirr:
Sevdije, oj Sevdijeeee!
Sevdija: S’ki nevoj me m’thirr Sevdije kur m’ki non!
Djali: E di po qkjo shpi e mallnave koka plot nona...
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:31 am

Motra budallic

Qysh pe munesh mi thon motres ma t’madhe budallic, pi thot njona djalit t’vet. Shko thuj m’fal, apet s’pi dahet kjo djalit.
Shkon ky djali edhe I thot motres: Motėr m’vjen keq qe je budallic...
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:31 am

Kush pe ja nis i pari?

Ni qik 10 vjeqe shkon te nona edhe e vet: A muna me pjell fmi en ket mosh a?
Natyrisht qe jo, i thot nona.
Urraa! pisket qika edhe del tu ngajt mu taku me nja tre shok ma t’mdhaj se ajo edhe ju thot: Kush pe ja nis i pari.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:33 am

Dėshira

Pi thot shoki shokit: Me bo met ra mu taku me naj magjistar qfar deshire i kishe lyp me ta plotsu.
I kisha thon me ma fal shkopin magjik, ja kthen shoki.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:34 am

Provimi

A e dha provimin?
Jo, rash.
S’pe t’ves a ra po a e dha provimin.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:34 am

Pushka ilire

Sa kushton qikjo pushk e vjeter? Vet ni turist en ni shitore antike t’Shipnis.
30 milion lek! Pi thot shitsi.
Fort shtrejt e paske bre! Turisti.
Shka pe menon ti, kjo pushk osht e kohes Pirros! Pi thot shitsi.
Allahile, ku ka pas pushk athere?
Po bash pėr qata osht e shtrejt.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:35 am

Pllumat

Pe folin dy plluma en tela te rrymes:
Besom qe nuk jom i martun! Pi thot pllumi mashkell pllumejkes.
E shka osht ajo unaz?
Iiiii, ket unaz en kom e kom pi qe e bajsha posten.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:35 am

Dieta

Shkon ni skelet en ameltore edhe porosit ni torte.
Kamarieri e vet: A me shllag a pa shllag?
Normal qe pa shllag! A nuk pi sheh se jom tu majt diet a? I thot skeleti
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:36 am

Porosia

Shkon ni skelet en kafe edhe porosit ni birr edhe ni trrulleks.
Po trrulleksi shka pet vyn? E vet kamarieri.
Pėr mi fshi podin! I thot skeleti.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:36 am

Taksi

Ni skelet qysh osht tu hec nėpėr qytet e sheh kerrin e t’deknive edhe ja nis me piskat:
TAKSI! Pėr sa pem qon deri n’shpi?
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:36 am

Dhomt

Shkojin ni qift pleq en restoran edhe plaki porosit biftek e plaka sup.
Mas ja i gjys ore edhe ni her porosisin, plaki sup e plaka biftek.
Po pse nuk I porositet en fillim dy supa e tash ju kisha pru biftekat? Pe ju thot kamarieri!
Problemi osht qe i perdorim ni par dhom! I pėrgjigjen pleqt.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:37 am

Dashnia e vllaznive

Dy vllazen pe rrijin bashk kur vllavi vogel ja nis mu anku:
Aaa, nuk shtyhet jeta kshtu, spe kom nafakė....
Vllavi i madh: Ti e din qe jeten e jap pėr ty, mi pas dy kerre njonin ta jap ty, mi pas dy shpija njonen ta lo ty.
Vllavi i vogel: A mes e ki ni cigare?
Vllavi i madh: Viq dy t’funit em kan met e duhna mi rujt pėr veti.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:37 am

Shanca e Bjondines

En ni kfiz special pėr Bjondina kur ti vjen rradha njones per mu pėrgjigj en pytjen sa bojin 3 herė 4 Bjondina thot: 7
Gabim!!! I thot spikeri.
Edhe ni shans, edhe ni shans! - Ja nisin me piskat Bjondinat qera.
Mir, sa bojin 2 herė 4?
Bjondina pi thot: 6
Perseri Gabim! - Thot Spikeri
Apet bjondinat qera: Edhe ni shans, edhe ni shans!
Mir, sa bojin 3 herė 3!
9 pėrgjigjet Bjondina.
Edhe ni shans edhe ni shans - Ja nisin apet Bjondinat tjera.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:38 am

Sistemi i Frymėmarrjes

Shkon nji bjondinte doktorri me vokmena n’vesh.
Heki ato sene pi veshve! I thot Doktorri.
Bjondina: Jo, se nuk muj me jetu pa to.
Bohet nervoz doktorri edhe ja hek me zor e bjondina ja nis mes me marr frym.
Kur ti vnon vokmenat en vesh Doktorri e Nin ni zo: merr frym, lsho frymen, merr frym, lsho frymen, merr frym, lsho frymen...
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:38 am

Sahati

Mixh, a mes di sa osht sahati? Pi vet ni fmi plakin.
Po, e di! I thot plaki.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:38 am

Hona

Do fmi pe shtyhen me fjel se qfar ngjyre ka hona.
Jo e sarit, jo e portkallt...
E shohin tu kalu ni pijanec edhe e vesin: T’i niri, qfar ngjyre ka hona?
A e para a e dyta? Ju thot pijaneci.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:38 am

Truni

Njoni pe don mi ndru trunin e vet edhe shkon en spital. Do kirurg i thojin: Viq dy lloje na kan met, tru t’shahistit edhe t’politikanit. I pari bon 500 euro e i dyti 50 euro.
Cili osht ma i ri?
I politikanit osht i paperdoren hiq.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:39 am

Senet e hupne

Mirdita! A mani sene t’hupne.
Jo, viq t’gjetne.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:40 am

Gruja me grip

Shka ki qe ji ra mazun? Pi vet njoni shokin e vet.
Em ka dek gruja! Pi thot ky tipi.
Pi shkafit.
Pi Gripit!
Pi gripit? Le mer mes baj dert se I kalon.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:40 am

Paret e Birres

Hin ni shoqni en kafiq edhe njoni pe thot:
Shka pe doni me pi, un paguj.
Krejt lypin birra perveq Hajdarit qe tha mu n’van te birres ami paret.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:40 am

Shkrimtart

Takohen dy shkrimtarė.
Shka pe shkrun kohve t’funit?
Jom ka e shkruj ditarin, koleg.
Po a? A mes je ardh te ajo dita qe mi pate marr nja 100 marka borxh.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:40 am

Hotel Tirana

En Hotel Tirana n’7 te mengjesit e qojin ni mysafir pi gjumit puntort e hotelit.
Qu pi gjumit o jaran.
Nuk ju kom porosit me m’qu pi gjumit. Mysafiri.
Po qu se erdh vakti me honger mengjes e na duhet ēarshafi i krevetit ton mi qit en tavolin t’restoranit.
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PostSubject: Barcoleta (vica)   Fri Feb 13, 2009 7:41 am

Nazmija e Avnija ne New York

Nazmija e Avnija shkojn en New York edhe e marrin banesen en katin 100.
Dalin me ble dishka en qytet e tu hyp shkallve Nazmija i thot Avnis:
Kom me t’kallxu dishka.
Le n’katin e 70 Pi thot Avnija.
Kur mrrijin n’katin e 70 Avnija i thot: Fol!
I kom harru qilsat en vetsherbim.
Nisen me zhdryp teposht, Kur mrrijin n’katin e 30 nazmija apet:
Kom me t’kallxu dishka.
Le m’kallxon kur t’zhdrrypim posht.
Kur t’dalin te hymja e baneses Avnija i thot Nazmis:
Kallxom tash shka deshte.
Kum bo hajgare.
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PostSubject: Re: Barcoleta (vica)   Today at 9:02 am

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